Monday, January 24, 2011

Cat Conversations 11:53 PM Tuesday

Me- Eat the fish already!
Cat- I’m not sure what this is.
Me- Cat’s everywhere like this stuff!
Cat- I’m a semi-arid kind of guy.
Me- Fine. Sip the milk then. Just be quiet.
Cat- You know what I could go for? One of those little chicks that just hatched. The mama has a dozen little nuggets chirping around out there, you think she’ll notice one or two?
Me- It’s late and I’ve already written you off for dead once today.
Cat- Whatever. Forget the 12 piece meal. What I need are some ladies. Lemme out.
Me- There are no other cats other than you in Beket. If there were you would be homeless.
Cat- As your roommate, I feel disrespected by that last comment.
Me- Look, I’m sorr-
Cat- You can make it up to me by booting-calling that tall one’s kitten-cat.
Me- Scout? I’m not sure she’s into villageois.
Cat- Whatever, she’s top-shelf and I’ll throw on some charm.
Me- First time for everything.
Cat- Hey, now.
Me- Seriously, she’s store-bought. Soft fur, dainty meow, collar…
Cat- Annnd?
Me- You aren’t exactly John Stamos.
Cat- Hey, this coat brings the bushrat, my friend.
Me- Those stripes look like Green Day met a bad Stallone movie.
Cat- The guy-liner look is coming back.
Me- Suuure it is.
Cat- Anyway, what about the other one, with half an ear?
Me- Petite Chat?
Cat- Yea. I’m totally in her strike-zone.
Me- That may be. Still, I don’t think you respect her special needs.
Cat- Oh, I respect them. A lot.
Me- I don’t like that tone.
Cat- You know what they say about epileptics in the sac-
Me- You know what a gelding is?
Cat- Wait…That’s with the boy horse…
Me-Yep.
Cat-You’d never.
Me- Listen you, I just had a conversation with a five month old cat referencing John Stamos. I’m capable of anything.
Cat- Meow?

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